oh what a night!

okay. after all the whining i did this week abt nightly rehearsals & dumb costumes, i have to admit it all paid off. we came in... *drumroll* SECOND!!! woohoo! not bad for 4 days worth of work! :)

to bring most of you up to speed - its been a crazy week at work for me cos i. workload is peaking as we prepare for end-year festivities & lotsa events/initiatives for the new year ii. there was a company d&d to prep for & we had rehearsals at lunches & dinners EVERYDAY.

the idea - each dept was allocated a genre of music which we had to prep item - rock, hiphop, country, etc, ours was RETRO. for weeks leading up to the event, no one was really on or interested to participate. honestly, maybe only like TWO pple wanted anything to do with it. so in typical, you-dont-want-to-volunteer-then-I-will-arrow style, my boss made it almost compulsory for everyone attending the dinner... which unfortunately, included me.

under normal circumstances i might be pretty enthusiastic. but given i had barely enough time to get through the enlarging task list & was highly stressed, i was kinda grouchy that id to log off my comp early for unimpt practise sessions. i also doubted we could pull off sth respectable given a. we had only 3 days to prep b. other depts have been practising for weeks WITH choreographers & whatnots c. what could you do with a theme like RETRO??

as it turns out, it wasnt all that bad. rehearsals were SOOOO funny cos we saw a different side of our colleagues, esp the guys. the bumping into each other, the missing of steps, the (initial) lack of coordination. they whined ALOT abt having to do this (this is stupid OT! *colourful french* why us?!, etcetc), but they were really trying best to master the moves & get their timings right... hahahaha a great spirit given most of them hardly dance at all! in the end, despite the REALLY, i mean REALLY atrocious costumes we were forced to wear, the aching arms & bruised knees, the tireless rehearsals, i think the whole experience did help us to bond better as a dept.

leading up to the day, i was taken aback by the competitive spirit of the folks at the company. you shd hear the mood building up at the tower - everyone's item was shrouded in secrecy, mystery. boardrooms & auditoriums all booked up for rehearsals. people practising hushly in the pantry. news of which&which dept was hiring who&who, practising for how long. which boss was participating (senior mgt participation wld up your score in the VERY complicated judging matrix). how much they were spending, getting costumes from where, etc. everyone intensely concerned abt order of performances & fighting for rehearsal slots onsite. i looked around & thought: wow, these people are taking this waaay too seriously no?

well yes & no. everyone here’s kinda competitive alright. BUT the strive for perfection did translate into a night to remember - a colourful & vibrant display of talent & enthusiasm. the leg baring, head banging, acrobatic prancing, cool acting & sensuous jiving. some acts REALLY made my jaw-drop & eyes widen - esp those by colleagues in their 40s! I never knew the older people at work knew how to have this much fun. It was kar-a-zeeee! The partying spirit of my colleagues, young & old alike brought home the point – the people here don’t just work hard, they party pretty darn hard too!

that & nanny-ing a couple of my rather high, almost-wasted-hence-madly-amusing friends made the night a memorable one. but the thrills & spills of drunken company will be saved for another day :)

pilgrims on a journey

returning home on the mrt the other night, i was unexpectedly overwhelmed by more than a few young, chatty, pimply teenagers. wondered why so many of them were around so late (by my motherly standards!) on a weekday night before it dawned - exams are out, school hols are in!

observing them, it kinda brought me back to my sec school days. the awkwardness, the zits, the experimental dressing, the angst, the need for acceptance, attention, the heartthrob craze, the boy talk, the girly bitching. being increasingly aware, mature about somethings yet still extremely childish about others. the cliques of teeny girls & boys really struck me as half child, half adult... and suddenly i felt extremely old.

growing up, i was a moody insecure girl with issues. i mean, BIG TIME issues :) not unlike the characters portrayed in the self-esteem talk at the BBGB camp (to get you up to speed - they were namely lousy lisa, always-not-beautiful-enough ah lian, friends-are-my-life frieda & suicidal suzy). i hated growing up, hated not understanding my mood swings, hated not being able to get out of them. i hated feeling lousy about myself almost all the time, hated having some freedom but not all of it. i hated being not a girl, not yet a woman! i vowed as a teen to always remember how much it sucks so when im an adult & eventually a mom, ill empathise & not be a pain in my kids' necks :)

as the story goes, God was gracious to me. thankfully after years of molding & shaping, we now have a *ta-da* - better, new & improved (tho still improving) version of me! :) much cheerier, better adjusted person, equipped to handle her emotions & people. ive grown up (some, i think!) and along the way, sadly forgotten bits of how difficult & confusing that stage of life was.

still i enjoy being around, being a jiejie to teens. i like to hear them out, to help them see their own issues, to talk & pray through stuff. its rewarding to watch them mature & wise up before your eyes. somehow, there will always be a bond with the youths you mentor & they hold a special place in your heart. but its a challenging, emotionally draining ministry.

which is why i look at what the pple at BBGB do week in & out and admire their heart of service. i admire their patience & love for the kids. kids of diversed backgrounds. kids who are like us, yet different from when we were teens. kids who like all teens are easily distracted, sometimes rebellious & always craving attention in a way or other. to preach Christ to these teens in a relevant way is amazingly tough but inspiring work. after watching & serving alongside them at camp, i was moved, convicted that our bros & sis at BBGB really need our support & prayers.

in the same vein, im grateful for the people God used to guide & love me when i went through the growing pains. people who accepted me, cried & laughed with me, assured & spurred me. people i cld bare my childish heart to, people who cheered me on as i crossed hurdles, conquered fears.

as always, a song comes to mind :)

We're pilgrims on the journey of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Chorus:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

which leads me to end this (rather incoherent) entry with a final thought:
we all play a part in the other's growth & life. we shd be watchful of
our lives, be intentional in guiding those who come behind us, as we
ourselves are guided by those before us. may we be found faithful in
Christ always!

a little more

songs are a huge part of my life. being attuned to lyrics, im always drawn to words that speak out on my behalf. been listening to jennifer knapp again the past week & i cant get enough of this song. wish i cld play it here somehow... maybe when i figure that out, it'd be easier for you to see what i mean :)

________________________

turn Your eyes from on this way
i have proved to live a dastardly day
i hid my face from the saints and the angels
who sing of Your glory
what You had in mind
my weakness shines
show me grace

chorus
a little more than I can give
a little more than I deserve
unearth this holiness I can't earn
it's a little more than I can give
a little more than I deserve

for all the sin that lives in me
it took a nail to set me free still
what I do I don't wanna do and so goes the story
what You had in mind
when we seek we'll find
shine, show me grace

with all this motivation
i still find a hesitation deep in my soul
despite all my demanding
i still find You understanding
show me grace
show me grace i know is....

that cosy time of year

Is it me or has Christmas arrived esp early this year? :)

Having time to roam the streets of Orchard last week, I was surprised to find decorations up & announcing the yuletide season. What? Its Christmas again? So soon?! I was out of town for 10 days & at a magical sweep of the wand, every store, mall was suddenly transformed fancy. Tall lit ribboned trees are up & proud at every other street corner. Retailers have put out their Christmas grab-a-bag pressie packages and displays have swirled from summer fall gear to glittery gowns & dresses. Everything everywhere is shouting CHRISTMAS! TIME TO SHOP!

Of cos, that and receiving my first Christmas card (some friends are so prompt!) & stash & stashes of Christmas discount brochures make it undeniable that the familiar hussle-bussle time of year has begun. The nagger in me is nagging the procrastinator in me to get started on the card-writing (I never finish my list every year!) and start looking out for pressie ideas… the planner in me also wonders – are we going to carol this year?

It probably isn’t that early (its mid-Nov afterall) but you know how Christmas marks the end of a year & its scary to be jolted into realisation that ANOTHER year has passed you inablinkofaneye by.

Still, its one of my favourite seasons. Partly cos I like gifts & gift shopping, adore writing & receiving cards, love to sing & hear Christmas carols. But mostly cos its the time, reason loved ones start to trickle back home… people I haven’t seen for awhile & miss dearly.

So as the clock ticks and Christmas begin to envelope us, may it be a cosy time as we celebrate the Reason for the season with the people that mean so much.

mind your language?

we had the most interesting of dessert topics yest nite - swearing. what words do you swear/exclaim with? under what circumstances? would you swear in front of church pple? is it wrong to swear?

our humourous conversation over to-die-for sticky toffee pudding at the marmalade pantry. slurp.

what words what circumstances

i think this varied from person to person. it seemed like we each had different thresholds for swear words round the 3-sided table. there are the more acceptable ones & the less acceptable ones. the common & uncommon ones. the english ones and the hokkien ones. then there are also swear signs, which were quite beyond me...

ive taken a small poll amongst christian friends. everyone admitted to some level/form of swearing. a few say they swear at work, when the stock they pick crashes or when they enter the wrong nos for a deal. others swear while driving, some swear as an exclamation of pain or at sudden provocation.

personally, i dont swear alot if at all... mostly crap or shit when i forget something. if i feel irritated with pple, i cld say moron or idiot. mostly in jest for swaning me, or if they were being a pain on the roads. i also say wah lao sometimes which i think isnt too lady-like & i shd cut down.

am i uncomfortable around pple who swear?

well, ive had nonC friends who punctuated their sentences with the f (& variations of) word & initially it takes getting used to. but mostly, i understand it is who they are, what they are used to & i dont take personal offense. i dont judge them for it either... just as i dont judge someone who smokes or drinks.

i must admit however that having church friends swear is rather eyebrow raising & surprising. i cant quite put a finger on why, but im less comfortable with christian friends swearing than nonC ones. double standards? perhaps, but i think its not wrong to have double stds in this respect cos as believers, we belong to a different kingdom, are supposed to live differently. to qualify, i dont judge them lar, just slightly shocked...

wld you swear in front of church folks? is it wrong to swear?

the particular friend that i hold in rather high esteem as a mature christian said she wld swear the same regardless of who she is with cos any other behaviour would be hypocritical. to an extent, i agree & accept but my qn would then be - is swearing edifying? does it stumble less mature christians or even nonC friends around you? shd we be swearing to begin with?

she also raised the point that any other diluted form of the swear word like fish or crap or cheeeken are just substitutes. the intention to exclaim or cuss remains... and it doesnt make a difference what word she uses cos she doesnt mean any of it - ie just swear the "jialat" ones cos i dont mean it anyway. think her point which i cant really refute is this - if you swear at all, one word isnt worse than the other ie crap shdnt be deemed worse than f--- cos generally, we dont swear the real meaning of these words anyway.

for me, the superficial response to this wld be that some words are just easier on the ears (less crude, hold less negative connotations) than others. so, ive a preference & some words are more acceptable to me than others.

the Bible says...

besides not swearing on God's name, what else does the Bible say abt this, if at all? a couple of passages spring to mind

Ephesians 4:29 & 5:3-4

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen... But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

from this passage, its clear that we should refrain from any form of speech that is unbecoming of children of Light. makes sense cos our behaviour ultimately reflects on the gospel, on Christ. of cos, what defines 'unbecoming' (like other grey areas) is subject to personal views, conviction.

also, the issue of stumbling others - Roms 14:20-22

Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.

another good reason to not swear - if it stumbles the people around you.

a brother made another good point - we shouldnt be as concerned about what/how we swear more than why we do it. if we feel vehemently about losing a deal & cuss abt it, we should be asking if the job/success is consuming us beyond what is right. if we feel rage & is susceptible to letting lose on words in the moment of anger, we should be examining our hearts re self-control & forgiveness. as with most things, the heart & its motives are what God is more concerned with than mere words & actions.

my conclusion

try not to swear cos we never know who is within earshot & you cant guarantee it wont stumble him/her. however, it'd do well for us not to judge pple who do cos everyone is accountable to God & convictions on these peripheral (to the gospel) issues arent worth dividing us over :)

let's get it started

within the span of 12 hrs, ive heard two separate accounts of how two couples got tog. one is a 3-mth old story & the other a 3-day old one.

both tales are rather different but there are common lessons (& then some) to be drawn...

1. the guys in both cases were natural in developing the friendship and were bold enough to step up the game

2. both stories were marked by mutual reciprocity - meaning the girls were responsive & didnt play games or pretend. which made it easier for the guys to be open about their feelings.

3. you really cant predict or match up couples in your head. cos who you expect them to end up with cld be very different from what materialises at the end of the day. function of opportunity & timing. and the fact that the heart just likes who it does... not always rational to the bystander or even the person involved!

4. the guy who act first is likely to win the dame vs the guy who hams & haws. sometimes, doing the bold thing just might tip the balance in your favour if the girl is choosing between two good men. [of cos there are no guarantees that she wont reject you - she might be waiting for that other guy, but its worth the shot]

5. its not true that all arpc men are not forthright. a handful are. but even those that are need the ladies to drop massive boulders of hints, hold up bright shiny neon signs before the men feel comfortable enough to risk the confession. comeon, the guys themselves admit it. but hint dropping is so not my forte, we'll leave that for others to expound on :)

on reflection, what rang in my head after learning all this is the passage in Ecclesiastes

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

So, in this arena of likes & loves there is...

a time to reveal, a time to conceal
a time to be vulnerable, a time to guard your heart
a time to hold on, a time to let go

relationships need time to grow. both need to be ready for the commitment, for the plunge into the unknown. timing is so very important - you shdnt be too late or too early.

may God grant us wisdom as we try to navigate through this maze of love & rships. let His priorities guide our words, thoughts & actions.

bali high

the week has zoomed past fast & i figured i better get ard to doing the thing on my list - blog! :)

a word must be said abt the incredible trip we made to Bali. being my first time there, i had high hopes thanks to the bali enthusiasts in my life. glad to say i wasnt disappointed despite falling ill on the first day! :) some things i really enjoyed abt the trip:

outdoor fun - we did water rafting (ok it was hardly treacherous waters but still great fun cos we had great company :)) & tried surfing! we took lessons & the teachers were really good & patient - so all us first-timers got to stand up on the board within the morning - cool or what?! we liked it so much, we vowed to return for a pure surfing trip. and to my joy, i just discovered my friends in perth surf too!!! so i might just get to attempt it again when we next go up for carms' wedding in april :):):)





actually, we also climbed mt batur (some volcanoe thing which isnt really worth your time), supposedly to catch the sunrise at the top. that was bad for me (& my companions!) cos i cldnt climb as fast as the sun was rising & was slowing down everyone :( was very touched by their support tho - trying to up morale by singing & distracting me with crap talk & stopping ever so often. so sweet rite?

indoor fun - the food, spa & shopping were fab! as there were foodies in our midst, our meals were almost always yummy. it was nice to hit the surf shops too in the evening, except when you leave the hotel WITHOUT your credit card :\ i also saw & understood the surf culture from a different light - orhhhh, so there is actually a whole culture behind all the surf brands we see in sg. soh das, talk abt slow ;)


we hit the spa after our first day of surfing and being the united bunch that we were - ALL FIVE of us went! even the reluctant one :) okay lar, abit steep but still very shiok to have your worn out calves & neck kneaded & stroked for relief. one woman's meat is another man's poison ;)

the company - was what made the trip complete! it was this memorable & awesome cos everyone got along, were fun, crazy, spontaneous (we have pics to prove that!) & cared for each other. no one was over-bearing, everyone tried to accomodate. you guys rawk!!! :)

given that someone else more eager than me has gone on to do a travel log, i shall save the trouble & just post the link here for you guys to enjoy :) i thank God for keeping us safe & count it a blessing to have been on such a trip! cool stuff :)

complete set of photos can be found on my smugmug

my sabbath week

Its been a whirlwind 10days. Sitting here in my pjs, I barely know where to start.

Was away on a holiday, youth camp and a retreat all backtoback. Besides gaining a deep tan, pronounced eyebags, bruises, scratches & aching muscles, ive also gathered new encounters, fab memories, insights & lessons - much to mull over & tie down.

Which makes this week of leave perfect. Time to rest, reflect & regroup with God. Time in solitude much needed after being with people 24/7. Not wanting to waste away the week, ive attempted a to-do list – hopefully it wont add stress, but help make efficient use of this, my Sabbath week :)

So between sleep, catchup lunches, errands & solo time, I hope to pop by & share nuggets of what God has taught & shown me. Pray along with me that I wont be too busy or too slack…

laters! ;)