pilgrims on a journey

returning home on the mrt the other night, i was unexpectedly overwhelmed by more than a few young, chatty, pimply teenagers. wondered why so many of them were around so late (by my motherly standards!) on a weekday night before it dawned - exams are out, school hols are in!

observing them, it kinda brought me back to my sec school days. the awkwardness, the zits, the experimental dressing, the angst, the need for acceptance, attention, the heartthrob craze, the boy talk, the girly bitching. being increasingly aware, mature about somethings yet still extremely childish about others. the cliques of teeny girls & boys really struck me as half child, half adult... and suddenly i felt extremely old.

growing up, i was a moody insecure girl with issues. i mean, BIG TIME issues :) not unlike the characters portrayed in the self-esteem talk at the BBGB camp (to get you up to speed - they were namely lousy lisa, always-not-beautiful-enough ah lian, friends-are-my-life frieda & suicidal suzy). i hated growing up, hated not understanding my mood swings, hated not being able to get out of them. i hated feeling lousy about myself almost all the time, hated having some freedom but not all of it. i hated being not a girl, not yet a woman! i vowed as a teen to always remember how much it sucks so when im an adult & eventually a mom, ill empathise & not be a pain in my kids' necks :)

as the story goes, God was gracious to me. thankfully after years of molding & shaping, we now have a *ta-da* - better, new & improved (tho still improving) version of me! :) much cheerier, better adjusted person, equipped to handle her emotions & people. ive grown up (some, i think!) and along the way, sadly forgotten bits of how difficult & confusing that stage of life was.

still i enjoy being around, being a jiejie to teens. i like to hear them out, to help them see their own issues, to talk & pray through stuff. its rewarding to watch them mature & wise up before your eyes. somehow, there will always be a bond with the youths you mentor & they hold a special place in your heart. but its a challenging, emotionally draining ministry.

which is why i look at what the pple at BBGB do week in & out and admire their heart of service. i admire their patience & love for the kids. kids of diversed backgrounds. kids who are like us, yet different from when we were teens. kids who like all teens are easily distracted, sometimes rebellious & always craving attention in a way or other. to preach Christ to these teens in a relevant way is amazingly tough but inspiring work. after watching & serving alongside them at camp, i was moved, convicted that our bros & sis at BBGB really need our support & prayers.

in the same vein, im grateful for the people God used to guide & love me when i went through the growing pains. people who accepted me, cried & laughed with me, assured & spurred me. people i cld bare my childish heart to, people who cheered me on as i crossed hurdles, conquered fears.

as always, a song comes to mind :)

We're pilgrims on the journey of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Chorus:
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

which leads me to end this (rather incoherent) entry with a final thought:
we all play a part in the other's growth & life. we shd be watchful of
our lives, be intentional in guiding those who come behind us, as we
ourselves are guided by those before us. may we be found faithful in
Christ always!