mind your language?

we had the most interesting of dessert topics yest nite - swearing. what words do you swear/exclaim with? under what circumstances? would you swear in front of church pple? is it wrong to swear?

our humourous conversation over to-die-for sticky toffee pudding at the marmalade pantry. slurp.

what words what circumstances

i think this varied from person to person. it seemed like we each had different thresholds for swear words round the 3-sided table. there are the more acceptable ones & the less acceptable ones. the common & uncommon ones. the english ones and the hokkien ones. then there are also swear signs, which were quite beyond me...

ive taken a small poll amongst christian friends. everyone admitted to some level/form of swearing. a few say they swear at work, when the stock they pick crashes or when they enter the wrong nos for a deal. others swear while driving, some swear as an exclamation of pain or at sudden provocation.

personally, i dont swear alot if at all... mostly crap or shit when i forget something. if i feel irritated with pple, i cld say moron or idiot. mostly in jest for swaning me, or if they were being a pain on the roads. i also say wah lao sometimes which i think isnt too lady-like & i shd cut down.

am i uncomfortable around pple who swear?

well, ive had nonC friends who punctuated their sentences with the f (& variations of) word & initially it takes getting used to. but mostly, i understand it is who they are, what they are used to & i dont take personal offense. i dont judge them for it either... just as i dont judge someone who smokes or drinks.

i must admit however that having church friends swear is rather eyebrow raising & surprising. i cant quite put a finger on why, but im less comfortable with christian friends swearing than nonC ones. double standards? perhaps, but i think its not wrong to have double stds in this respect cos as believers, we belong to a different kingdom, are supposed to live differently. to qualify, i dont judge them lar, just slightly shocked...

wld you swear in front of church folks? is it wrong to swear?

the particular friend that i hold in rather high esteem as a mature christian said she wld swear the same regardless of who she is with cos any other behaviour would be hypocritical. to an extent, i agree & accept but my qn would then be - is swearing edifying? does it stumble less mature christians or even nonC friends around you? shd we be swearing to begin with?

she also raised the point that any other diluted form of the swear word like fish or crap or cheeeken are just substitutes. the intention to exclaim or cuss remains... and it doesnt make a difference what word she uses cos she doesnt mean any of it - ie just swear the "jialat" ones cos i dont mean it anyway. think her point which i cant really refute is this - if you swear at all, one word isnt worse than the other ie crap shdnt be deemed worse than f--- cos generally, we dont swear the real meaning of these words anyway.

for me, the superficial response to this wld be that some words are just easier on the ears (less crude, hold less negative connotations) than others. so, ive a preference & some words are more acceptable to me than others.

the Bible says...

besides not swearing on God's name, what else does the Bible say abt this, if at all? a couple of passages spring to mind

Ephesians 4:29 & 5:3-4

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen... But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

from this passage, its clear that we should refrain from any form of speech that is unbecoming of children of Light. makes sense cos our behaviour ultimately reflects on the gospel, on Christ. of cos, what defines 'unbecoming' (like other grey areas) is subject to personal views, conviction.

also, the issue of stumbling others - Roms 14:20-22

Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.

another good reason to not swear - if it stumbles the people around you.

a brother made another good point - we shouldnt be as concerned about what/how we swear more than why we do it. if we feel vehemently about losing a deal & cuss abt it, we should be asking if the job/success is consuming us beyond what is right. if we feel rage & is susceptible to letting lose on words in the moment of anger, we should be examining our hearts re self-control & forgiveness. as with most things, the heart & its motives are what God is more concerned with than mere words & actions.

my conclusion

try not to swear cos we never know who is within earshot & you cant guarantee it wont stumble him/her. however, it'd do well for us not to judge pple who do cos everyone is accountable to God & convictions on these peripheral (to the gospel) issues arent worth dividing us over :)