super single slurpy

Im having a super duper hyper so-happy-im-single week. Quite a phenomenon :)

Seated in the back staring out through the misty window that late rainy night, it was perfect for melancholy. Instead, I felt blissful. Having had a blast chillin’ & playing a myriad of dumb games till 3, I was extremely tired but extremely happy.

On the cruise home, amidst the boyish banter in front (about engines & other boring stuff) it struck me from out of nowhere: I was really grateful & happy being single.

Somehow my mind started flooding with many wonderful things I love & enjoy about singleness, my heart brimmed with thankfulness & you wouldn't believe the silly grin I had on my face.

Well fact is, some days (think the letters P, M & S), I absolutely, utterly, want-out-of-this-now HATE singleness. Other days, God allows me to see the good & cherishable things about singleness & I'm calm, accepting. Most days, I'm kind of neutral about it - learning to cope with it, be content in it, but never deeply loving it.

God knows how much I want to live to the hilt every moment I believe is His will. I don't want to just get by. I don't want to keep peeping around the bend for what is to come and miss the here & now that God has placed me in. But wanting & actually experiencing the joy, contentment are two separate things. That's why I was pleasantly surprised that night when God revealed at the most unexpected time... opened me up to the joys of my single state.

And this happy bunny euphoria has lasted through a couple of extremely soppy movies, juicy love accounts & late nights with no dinner dates, noless. awesome, ain't it?

Don’t get me wrong. I haven't morphed into an anti-men, anti-marriage, pro-independence, male-paranoid feminist. Haha far from it. I still want the whole godly bf, nice wedding, loving marriage & sweetload of kids thing. I'm just beginning to learn to not let that desire get in the way of living joyfully now.

But cos (wo)men are forgetful beings, I'm going to list here the things I love about singleness so I can remember them on the ihatethis days! :)

Reasons im thankful im single!

- I can play stupid games with bunch of wacky, lovely people till 3 (& sleep in till 12pm the next day), go home slightly wet, tired, happy & have comfort knowing I can just crash & not worry about the baby, laundry or other marital obligations :P

- I can, through late night chats, games, parties, dinner dates & engaging email exchanges experience the joy, friendship of different girls & guys I would not otherwise meet or know as deeply. I really love laughing till my sides ache & eyes tear with these people!

- I can be spontaneous & say yes to a friend in need or jump up to join a party more readily

- I'm more adventurous & try out things I wouldn't have the time or motivation to try otherwise

- I travel more with different people & experience different personalities

- I learn to rely on God for my sense of worth, not someone's opinion/affections

- I can state factually who I think the cutest guy at church is without feeling bad for making my bf insecure/look lousy. (Btw, cute doesn’t mean I want him!)

- I don’t have to consider, align with any one particular person (but God) re ministry priorities, burdens. There’s a need, I’m available, I can just go off & do it.

- most of all, this is where God wills me to be so it can only be a good thing. trusting in His character & plan enables me to truly revel in it!

I know there are joys & pains in both states. And when & if the time comes, God will prepare me to fully embrace the trials, monotony & JOYS! of married life. For now, its sweetness to truly appreciate this good gift that God has blessed me with. Im gonna lap it up like a super slurpy... ;)

Now, why don’t YOU share what you love about being single?