heavy stuff

Its been ages since I last blogged. Partly cos Ive been caught up with people & festivities. Partly cos I had nothing that poignant or funny to share.

But here I am again – this time with a sober mind & a heavy heart. Afraid it ain’t gonna be a sprightly first entry for the new year but ive got to get it out there.

Found out today that the sweet, cheerful cleaning lady that comes around every morning fell at home yesterday & slipped into a coma. She went into surgery immediately to remove a blood clot in her brain. But even after surgery, the docs advised the family that she is likely to be brain dead & it would be better to remove her from the respirator. The decision was made by the family to take her off it. So, she’s gone. Just like that.

Kinda in shock right now. She’s gotta be one of the healthiest old lady I know. She is super active & mobile, believes in keeping fit, and cooks her own meals in the pantry everyday. When I heard the news, I tried to think of the last time I saw or spoke to her. Last week? Which day? I don’t even remember. She comes every morning to clear my dustbin – most days I greet her & thank her, somedays im preoccupied, I just smile, nod. Bulk of time I greet her out of habit. I mean it & all but I take for granted she will be a constant & if I don’t see her today, I assume I’ll see her tomorrow.

The sad bit is, I don’t think she was saved.

Side thought: old people really can’t afford to fall. Something bad always happen after falls.

Main thought: life is unpredictable alright. I don’t know when my dad will go. I don’t know when God will call me home. I don’t know when people I see, work, hang out with could leave me.

Seems like an apt, personal reminder from God on the transience of life. Especially since I spent the larger part of the morning dreaming up adventurous plans out of a dissatisfied heart. This passage in James 2 came to mind:

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that. "

If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that. A new year usually marks the start of new endeavours, new plans. This is a sobering reminder that one should never plan without surrender or a view of God & His priorities.

And the unpredictability of life should prompt us to evade mediocrity in our walk with Him, to stop procrastinating obedience, to strive to live under His rule daily. So very difficult!!!

Abit overwhelmed at this point. God’s really loading up the heavy stuff. And its only the 2nd wk of Jan! :S