till death

For a twentysomething yr old girl I contemplate death quite a bit. Was just at the cemetery over the weekend… In the day time, its actually a beautiful, sunny, peaceful place. Rather ideal for pondering & journaling if you ask me just that its too far off to be convenient. It’s not hard to be reminded of the certainty of death while amongst the graves. I always wonder about the families of these people buried there. Majority belong to people who died old – black & white photos of granny-like looking women with buns. Do the families still visit? They must be preoccupied with their own lives now. What happens when they are all dead? Who visits these anymore? Eventually no one will. When the children, grandchildren of these people pass away too, these graves will be meaningless and these people will be forgotten. That will happen to most of us, if we haven’t gotten our names in the history books somehow. The brevity of our lives – we are so small, so minute in the big scheme of life & history... mere dust. There’s just no concrete way of immortalising ourselves, all rather futile.

In the distance, piped amazing grace was playing out of a van as mourners walk out toward a burial site. Another ending, another family in grief. Time has a method of layering days & months & years in a way that helps you to remember but not really remember the pain death brings. I just know it is very very acute, like nothing I have felt before. And watching the proceedings, I dread the many times I have to go through it. For as long as Im alive, Ill keep feeling left behind, Ill keep losing people I love.

Which makes the promise of salvation & heaven in Christ such a relief. Knowing that physical death isn’t really the end, that all the wrath stored up for us has been dealt with in Christ and there is only rest, beauty, newness & glory with Him awaiting us. No more tears or death! This knowledge & truth makes all worthwhile, makes life bearable.

Even saying that sounds silly cos life as we know it is hardly that bad. What is a broken heart, a difficult boss or even ministry pains compared to the persecution, martyrdom that fellow saints in other centuries, countries face? We are too comfortable, too sheltered, too unbroken, too untested.

But peace now doesn’t mean peace always. Hurricane Katrina [more recently rewatching Hotel Rwanda - vivid pictures of massacre & civil strife] brought home the message for me that life, human structures, attempts at security aren’t at all reliable, predictable. Only predictably chaotic. First world wonders can turn into third world nightmares overnight. If we were to be struck by some form of disaster here in Singapore &/or believers start getting scarily persecuted for the faith, would we stick by Jesus? Something we should grapple with, prepare for in such good times.

I used to wonder (& still do now) what Id say if someone pointed a gun to my head, demanding I renounce Jesus. Would I wimp out or take the shot? I hope & pray with all my heart I wont do a peter on Christ. Anyhow, dying by the bullet is a lot easier than being gruesomely tortured. Don’t know if I can take the latter...

While we are spared from dramatic persecution of the NT kind now, we should be faithful in gospel work, in the task placed before us at our workplace, at church. Preparing ourselves & others for the end times.

The words of this song rings so true

Whatever happens, we must live worthy lives
And for the gospel, stand firm side by side

By His grace, may we hold fast to the promise, continue to preach Christ till death, till He comes.