wedding comebacks

attended another wedding at my previous church yesterday and thankfully, the post-wedding interactions were a lot more intimate than the last. by intimate I mean, genuine catching up vs hi-byes type of. i wasnt suffering from any wedding blues & was in fact in one of my cheerer moods (it helps that i wasnt pmsing - it really helps). so cheery i was engaging in natural conversation with everyone, even with you-know-who. things were going so well, i was caught off guard when affronted by the aunties near the buffet line. the conversation went sth like this: aunty 1: hey pearlyn *reaches out hand to shake* wah so pretty today ah… so nice to see you! how have you been? me: *shy smile, returning handshake* im good, im good, nice to see you too aunty aunty 2: so how, are you still working at ---? how’s work? how long have you been there? me: work’s okay, same-o same-o… [trail off] barely 20sec into conversation, one of buffet line auntys launched the dreaded question aunty 1: so pearlyn, when is it your turn? *sly comeonyouwanttotellme smile* mind races. first time ive been asked this since i was single! i had 1 of 3 options: i. *weak laugh, eyes cast to ground* no lar, ive got no boyfriend [look like a desperate loser girl, no life, no hope] ii. *confident laugh* not any time soon aunty! Ill surely tell you when the time comes! [too confident, might prompt more invasive questions along lines of "do you have a bf now? what does he do?" etc] iii. *smile nicely* don’t know. Ask God? [imply it was a rude question, not admitting current status, wont make me look too lame] i picked option 3. it worked – auntys laughed awkwardly & muttered, "yah thats true, heh heh" & directed me to buffet line to get food, the poor girl must be hungry. felt victorious & mildly relieved that i got away with most of pride in tact but still kind of surprised it came up. fact is, everyone in my old church community had been wise/kind up till that point to veer away from topic of relationships with me. also, ive been considering myself still young & not in the letsworryabthersheisntmarriedyet category. hmm maybe i am at the edge of the season where whenisityourturns & howcomeyoudonthaveabfyets torrents are coursing down towards me, hidden from behind the bend. hahaha thankfully i wasnt too affected. i related it in jest to my other twentysomething friends. sitting around, we decided there were two main questions that people tend to ask us at these weddings. the single people get the "when is it your turn?" While the (newly) married ones get the "when are you having a baby?" & "are you pregnant?" to which the smart (albeit slightly rude) retort someone had was: what colour is your underwear? you tell me then ill tell you if im pregnant. i wonder what kind of a response the auntys were looking for? how come they nothing better to do than to ask such insensitive questions? do they really want me to give a wedding date & whip out an invite onthespot? cant they see we arent wearing no engagement ring nor are our tummies wide with anticipation? given my wit eludes me esp in moments of dire need, im opening this up to the floor. i know my readers are far more sharp-tongued than i can ever be so humour me with good comebacks. i need to store up ammunition for the mass of weddings & dinners coming up! :)