my Potter & i

"Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand..." jere 18:6

Sunday, July 31, 2005

she hurts she wonders she tries

can wounds reopen she asks
old wounds can still smart
not as frequently, not as painful
but still smart

what does one do with old relationships
do we leave them on the shelves in the recesses or
do we take them off, dust them & try to work new stories, life into them

she wonders if life could have played out better, with more warmth, less distance
but these wonders are in vain & silly cos no one knows
you cant judge between an unknown & the present

its wiser not to dwell
but surrender & trust
the One who knows, the One who embraces, the One who loves

so she tries, she keeps trying… grateful she still has He.


your grace is sufficient for me
your strength is made perfect when i am weak
all that i cling to, i lay at your feet
your grace is sufficient for me

things in the past, things yet unseen
wishes & dreams that are yet to come true
all of my hopes, all of my plans
my heart & my hands are lifted to you

brighter than sunshine


the best kind of love is the kind that creeps up on you

inspired by the song of week, which gotta be
brighter than sunshine by aqualung
check out lyrics here

Friday, July 29, 2005

the brick testament


someone sent me a link to this site http://www.thebricktestament.com/ you shd check it out - its the cutest!!!

it features bible stories told by some guy using LEGO & bible quotations - very ingenious. he has done stories from the garden of eden to moses to gospels, even the epistles! alot more on OT i guess cos OT more drama. dont know how accurate the portrayals are but i think those ive seen are rather adorable - esp how adam & eve's facial expression changes after they ate apple hahahaha. but the babies look funny cos just head & a stump for body. he even denotes stuff like sexual content & violence etc so you know what to expect before clicking in. go have a look :)

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

piece of my heart

another season of goodbyes

shing just left last sat back to sydney and steph's leaving tomorrow back to the States. both are sisters that have grown especially dear.

this song articulates quite well what i feel whenever someone precious leaves me. as i shared before (missing & risking), its always tough to say goodbye, be left behind. but God's gracious i know & provides new people, new relationships :)

will miss you girls loads...
_________________________________

Piece Of My Heart by Keri Noble

Driving down the highway saying goodbye to it all
In between the blues and greens we're following the call
That takes us so far away from summer's sunny days
You know I'm missing you already and I can still see your face

Sitting underneath the stars with a cold beer and old friends
Talking 'til the sun comes up and then we'd do it again
Well you've become a part of me that I never want to lose
Until we come back together you know I'll be missing you

I can hear us laughing I remember every part
I've got everything we ever did
It's tattooed on my heart
But there's a cold wind coming in
And blowing us apart
Till the summer brings us back
You know you've got a piece of my heart

Watching your taillights fading out of my sight
Feeling like the sun just lost a little bit of its light
But you've left your memories to linger, new memories to start
'Till the summer brings you back
You know you've got a piece of my heart

ps: will upload photo of us too, Shing! WIP :)

Monday, July 25, 2005

who are you calling elite?



at supper, i was sitting with 6 other rather inebriated pple (they met me after a wine tasting event), of which only 3 were prior acquaintances. background on pple: one taking a break from studies at Harvard law school, a stay-home therapist/psychologist trained abroad, 2 journalists, a childhood educator returning to Stanford for masters, a scholar serving his bond and plain old me.

as is typical at such settings, some discovered mutual friends in the exchange – a surprising yet unsurprising occurrence. i mean we encounter this time & again, don’t we? a new person we meet actually knows 1 or 2 or even 3 of our personal friends. we are caught by mild disbelief everytime but it happens so often we’ve learned to shrug it off as an affirmation that there really is only 2 degrees of separation in SG & not 6 as purported.

i was ready to do the same that night if not for SW’s comment: “its not cos its SG, this only happens in the circles of the elite.”

i protested of cos. i experience this often but im definitely not an elite. SC (SW’s gf whom im close to & respect as one with insight) reaffirmed his statement & told me i was an elite whether or not i liked it & i wld do better to face the fact. what were they talking about? i don’t feel im part of the elite at all – (unlike them) im not a scholar, did not school overseas, (like them) i stay in a humble HDB flat, grew up pretty much a heartlander, take the mrt to work everyday & eat at hawker centres all the time. for these reasons, ive always considered myself middle class & im unashamed of it. maybe we didn’t have a common understanding of what the word meant?


According to SW & SC, we are elite cos… (okay not thoroughly thought-through reasons but it will suffice for now lar)
- only 3-5% of the population has a degree & beyond & we are part of that minority (true?)
- we wld definitely be killed in a cultural revolution (er, i still insist i wont be)
- we are well connected (?) & hold respectable white-collared jobs


[before i continue, i need to substantiate by saying that SW & SC are one of the few down-to-earth peers i know. intellectual, well-learned people but unassuming, kind, prudent and its not in their character to feel superior above others, much less have an elitist attitude – which makes their claims to be elite extremely bizarre to me.]

stats & arguments aside, my point to them was this: what does it matter if i believe i was elite or not?

SC’s response surprised me. to her, it was important that she realise how fortunate she is relative to the rest of humanity. even relative to Singaporeans, she feels she has been extremely blessed with fine education, brains, resources, network & wealth of opportunities to pursue & put to effect almost any dream/goal she has. its about being self-aware (not so you get puffed up or condescending) but so you don’t belittle the opportunities/power you have to help others, to really effect change in the lives of the marginalised, the poor & many others in a worse state than you.

that made quite a lot of sense to me. so the issue isn’t so much about feeling/being elite. what matters more is realising how blessed i am, that im actually empowered to do a lot more for people around. i think this kind of perspective gets clouded out in our dog-eat-dog, money grabbing, ladder climbing, meritocratic Singapore/world. we always tend to compare up & never look back to see how others are much much less privileged than we are. growing up, i always felt mediocre just cos i know so many other more brilliant, talented & able people around – i felt i could never be the best at anything. that’s still true but it isn’t the point. the point is i AM blessed & i should make use of my position to do good to others.


beyond that, this truth applies too on the spiritual front. besides being economically & socially fortunate, ive also been spiritually blessed having been shown immense grace & mercy. On good im-so-content-with-my-life days, God helps me to realise that im truly blessed with…
- salvation – intellect to understand & faith to believe (His pursuit of me wld take a whole entry on its own)
- a loving Dad who cares for me
- many dear friends who love & appreciate me
- a community to serve & grow with
- a job that provides sufficiently for my needs & even my wants
- able limbs, faculties – health in general!


abit cliché lar but true nonetheless rite? :) stuff to rem on the not-so-content days


i really admire SC’s heart & passion for the less privileged. i feel much less compassionate & caring about the poor, widowed & unsaved people in third world countries than her & pple like Josh. maybe out of sight really does keep these realities out of mind. even in Singapore, i know there are needs that i could help meet but im doing nothing about. will be praying for God to nurture in me a more tender, passionate heart for both the physically & spiritually needy people... :)

Friday, July 22, 2005

sri lanka


a friend made a trip to sri lanka recently to help post-tsunami. here are some really gorgeous pictures taken by a guy on the trip... inspiring


coincidentally (or not), the Bank is calling out for volunteers to help out in sri lanka this sept/oct - rebuilding, educating kids, etc. super tempted to go! gotta plan leave & seek approval tho... sth to pray about :)

Monday, July 18, 2005

awesome!

the weekend at PTBC was awesome. many reminders abt our salvation & assurance in Christ - renewed convictions abt my identity in Him, the certainty of my inheritance & the host of spiritual blessings i have as His child :) most of all, God reminded me how very very much He loves me & there's little i shd fear, fret about. He is just too good for words.

What then shall we say that Abraham, our forefather, discovered in this matter? If, in fact, Abraham was justified by works, he had something to boast about—but not before God. What does the Scripture say? "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness."

Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. David says the same thing when he speaks of the blessedness of the man to whom God credits righteousness apart from works:

"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him."

Romans 4:1-9

the great & amazing truth -
one is counted righteous simply by believing in God's promises
not by going to church, not by attending bible study, not by serving, not by saying the "right" things, doing the "right" things. my salvation is wholly, completely, utterly reliant on His work on the Cross alone. how cool is that?! not new stuff but realising afresh is a liberation all over. lalalalala!

Friday, July 15, 2005

everything in its time

mel shared this song and it touched me at the core. speaks so true of what i sometimes feel - weariness, loneliness, stubbornness in walking this narrow journey for Him. beautiful beautiful song. its been one those tough weeks & this was just the comfort i needed... thanks mel.
_____________________________

sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
how long till my hunger is fed
they say its hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round

some folks try astrology
some turn to crystal balls
to find an answer
to get through it all
i just fall on my knees and i try to pray
in the silence i can hear Him say


the river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
i promise you, the answer will come
hold on to patience and watch for the sign
everything in its time

i often feel like im two steps behind
somebody must have moved that finish line
there are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
but im stubborn in the things i believe


the river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
i promise you, the answer will come
hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cos maybe there's another plan
one i still cant see
a little surprise, like your love in my life
funny how time changes how we see


the river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
i promise you, the answer will come
hold on to patience and watch for the sign
everything in its time
everything in its time


everything in its time by corrinne may

Sunday, July 10, 2005

what should we make of it



3 weeks ago, i bumped into an ex-churchmate LL at the most unexpected place - the mango store at suntec on the opening day of sale (yes, i succumbed to the mango sale frenzy but no i did not queue to get in - ill save my views on the madness for another time :)) it was really nice catching up with her as i hadnt seen her since she left for london last aug. she was back for 2 wks to attend a wedding & was returning back to UK that thurs. thing is, i was never really that close to her, but somehow in the 20 or so mins that we spent talking amongst the racks/piles of jeans, clothes & women ransacking the mess, we really connected. she shared abt the drastic changes that took place in the last 6 mths of her life & i emphathised & encouraged her as best as i cld. we parted with the exchange of nos/emails & promises to catchup when she heads home next. i was thankful we met.

3 days ago, i received an email from her. she had been really close to danger when the london bombs went off. she was in fact, only 2 carriages away from where one of the explosions took place. she recounted to us her fears, anxiety - how she was trapped, how she thought she was going to die in the fire, how she was eventually led out into safety. she was thankful for God's preservation, thankful to be alive.

i was sombred by the mail - to think that she could have lost her life simply by entering a different carriage that morning. i was reminded again how temporal our lives are, how unstable this world is. as i pondered & read more abt the incident through the papers, i felt more saddened & appalled - saddened at the lives destroyed; appalled at men's wickedness, depravity. we are indeed a wretched humanity that deserves nothing short of God's wrath & judgment. the planning that went into such a deed disclose our wickedness:

an excerpt from an article in the Straits Times dated 9 July

The targets were carefully chosen. Bombs were timed to explode not only during the rush hour when trains were full, but also at precisely the point when such trains were going through the deepest tunnels under the British capital, the places where rescue would be hardest.

The timing was also clever. Two explosions in quick succession, followed by another explosion soon thereafter and then the destruction of a bus - a combination of both the highly visible and invisible atrocity, both below and above ground, and everything intended to sow panic while stretching rescue services to the maximum.


as Christians, what should we make of it? of disasters like this, like the tsunami? Jesus tells us in Matthew 24 that these things are to be expected:

Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. (v4-8)

In fact, for believers, we can expect more than that in time - persecution, betrayal & death.

Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. (v9-10)

How should we respond? We are called to stand firm & be alert.

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. (v12-14)

No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father... Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. (v36;42-46)


If these are indeed early signs of the end, we should be more urgent in gospel work - in preaching & making Him known to the people around. We can't promise or assure our friends that things will get better, disasters & wars will fade, cos we know they won't. But we can show them there are 2 ways to live & if they choose Jesus, they would have made a choice with wonderful consequences that would last beyond now to eternity.

there is a higher throne
than all this world has known
where faithful ones from every tongue
will one day come
before the Son we'll stand
made faultless through the Lamb
believing hearts find promised grace
salvation comes

hear heaven's voices sing
their thunderous anthem rings through
emerald courts and sapphire skies
their praises rise
all glory, wisdom, power
strength, thanks & honour are to God
our King who reigns on high forevermore

and there we'll find our home
our life before the throne
we'll honour HIm in perfect song where we belong
He'll wipe each tear-stained eye
and thirst & hunger die
the Lamb becomes our Shepherd King
we'll reign with Him


help us Lord to not rest on our laurels, self-absorbed in our little lives. help us to realise what is at stake & to build our lives around Your work, Your priorities... to be mindful of the end & to live in the light of that. may we be found faithful on the day You return!

Friday, July 08, 2005

happy birthday Ting Eeling!!!



cheers to 24 years of loveliness, our 11 years of friendship & a month of marital bliss!

most of all, to His eternal faithfulness & grace to us.

youre my ting eeling
pumpyyumpyyumpy kin
youre my sweetie pie
youre my gumdrops smickums smickums
youre the apple of my eye!

miss you lots & many big bear hugs from sg

Monday, July 04, 2005

loud poems loud songs

last nite we went to watch Mel perform in the play entitled Poetic Licence - its a visual enactment of a series of local poems. very very cool & impressive. the poems were varied -mostly pensive, some angsty, some quirky, some really funny & one sensuous. personally moved by a couple - really liked Now, Palindrome #1: Winter Tears, Farewell to Sumana, Dead Nerd's Gf & the Loud Poems - great rhythm & perfect execution by actors. quite quite brilliant :) Great Job, MEL!!



you can still catch it - its on till 6th July at Singapore Art Mueseum - www.gatecrash.com.sg

one of faves (& shortest) that i can recall:


Outside is raining
Inside is paining
In between - just being.
~ Now by Kirpal Singh
besides that, had a great time at botanics on sat - an InterDG social for City Min folks to meet & mingle. thank God for fab weather & good turnout :) we had picnic & games before heading en masse to party world KTV at maxwell. i know, not the typical hangout for a bunch of bible-loving Christians but hey, we aint your typical bunch to begin with :P i made a huge sacrifice in signing up as a VIP member to ensure better rates for everyone - check this out. it speaks for itself doesnt it?! gawdyyyyyyyy!


yes, shockshockhorrorhorror even potatoes like us enjoy a good croon now & then. ill be the first to admit, albeit sheepishly, that karaoke is REALLY fun. in fact, we discovered many other closet singers - to our amazement, the most unlikely pple delivered chinese & even, hokkien renditions most heartily (in some cases, shamelessly!) :) it was funny to watch fellow BS friends getting right with it - eagerly picking songs & at some pts, almost snatching mics from each other haha. most of the time in the English Rm (we split ourselves into 2 huge rms according to general language pref - i shuttled back & forth hee) we were shouting ourselves hoarse to crazy 90s rock numbers/ballads - think tubthumping, westlife & the like whilst some of our (affectionately called) ah peks were doing their beegees & my ways. i personally enjoyed joy & my version of sk8ter boi (i know, quite cool ah they actually have it) & of cos, our usual abba, jay chou & stef sun classics - rite SL / Shins? ;) with the right people, karaoke is way fun!

all in all, it was great hanging out with & getting to know BS pple better outside of DG setting… thanks guys for making the time & for being such fab company! it was well worth the effort.
Ok now, who’s planning the next outing?