who are you calling elite?

at supper, i was sitting with 6 other rather inebriated pple (they met me after a wine tasting event), of which only 3 were prior acquaintances. background on pple: one taking a break from studies at Harvard law school, a stay-home therapist/psychologist trained abroad, 2 journalists, a childhood educator returning to Stanford for masters, a scholar serving his bond and plain old me.

as is typical at such settings, some discovered mutual friends in the exchange – a surprising yet unsurprising occurrence. i mean we encounter this time & again, don’t we? a new person we meet actually knows 1 or 2 or even 3 of our personal friends. we are caught by mild disbelief everytime but it happens so often we’ve learned to shrug it off as an affirmation that there really is only 2 degrees of separation in SG & not 6 as purported.

i was ready to do the same that night if not for SW’s comment: “its not cos its SG, this only happens in the circles of the elite.”

i protested of cos. i experience this often but im definitely not an elite. SC (SW’s gf whom im close to & respect as one with insight) reaffirmed his statement & told me i was an elite whether or not i liked it & i wld do better to face the fact. what were they talking about? i don’t feel im part of the elite at all – (unlike them) im not a scholar, did not school overseas, (like them) i stay in a humble HDB flat, grew up pretty much a heartlander, take the mrt to work everyday & eat at hawker centres all the time. for these reasons, ive always considered myself middle class & im unashamed of it. maybe we didn’t have a common understanding of what the word meant?

According to SW & SC, we are elite cos… (okay not thoroughly thought-through reasons but it will suffice for now lar)
- only 3-5% of the population has a degree & beyond & we are part of that minority (true?)
- we wld definitely be killed in a cultural revolution (er, i still insist i wont be)
- we are well connected (?) & hold respectable white-collared jobs

[before i continue, i need to substantiate by saying that SW & SC are one of the few down-to-earth peers i know. intellectual, well-learned people but unassuming, kind, prudent and its not in their character to feel superior above others, much less have an elitist attitude – which makes their claims to be elite extremely bizarre to me.]

stats & arguments aside, my point to them was this: what does it matter if i believe i was elite or not?

SC’s response surprised me. to her, it was important that she realise how fortunate she is relative to the rest of humanity. even relative to Singaporeans, she feels she has been extremely blessed with fine education, brains, resources, network & wealth of opportunities to pursue & put to effect almost any dream/goal she has. its about being self-aware (not so you get puffed up or condescending) but so you don’t belittle the opportunities/power you have to help others, to really effect change in the lives of the marginalised, the poor & many others in a worse state than you.

that made quite a lot of sense to me. so the issue isn’t so much about feeling/being elite. what matters more is realising how blessed i am, that im actually empowered to do a lot more for people around. i think this kind of perspective gets clouded out in our dog-eat-dog, money grabbing, ladder climbing, meritocratic Singapore/world. we always tend to compare up & never look back to see how others are much much less privileged than we are. growing up, i always felt mediocre just cos i know so many other more brilliant, talented & able people around – i felt i could never be the best at anything. that’s still true but it isn’t the point. the point is i AM blessed & i should make use of my position to do good to others.

beyond that, this truth applies too on the spiritual front. besides being economically & socially fortunate, ive also been spiritually blessed having been shown immense grace & mercy. On good im-so-content-with-my-life days, God helps me to realise that im truly blessed with…
- salvation – intellect to understand & faith to believe (His pursuit of me wld take a whole entry on its own)
- a loving Dad who cares for me
- many dear friends who love & appreciate me
- a community to serve & grow with
- a job that provides sufficiently for my needs & even my wants
- able limbs, faculties – health in general!

abit cliché lar but true nonetheless rite? :) stuff to rem on the not-so-content days

i really admire SC’s heart & passion for the less privileged. i feel much less compassionate & caring about the poor, widowed & unsaved people in third world countries than her & pple like Josh. maybe out of sight really does keep these realities out of mind. even in Singapore, i know there are needs that i could help meet but im doing nothing about. will be praying for God to nurture in me a more tender, passionate heart for both the physically & spiritually needy people... :)