when love just aint enough

had dinner tonight with a friend, lent a ear to his woes as he just broke up with his gf. his story: they have been tog for 3 years & at their 3rd year anniversary last wk, THE QUESTION came up - when will you marry me? (girls: somehow it does seem that the guys with whom you have to raise this up with are unlikely to be the ones eager to marry you [despite being a good guy] & so, unlikely to be worth your time - they shd get to the qn first!) at which point, my friend was forced to reckon with the dreaded issue, forced to make a stand. somehow time & life's experiences have shaped them differently... he feels they are no longer compatible, at least not compatible enough for her to be the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. so the rational & wise decision was to breakup though (i can tell its true), he still loves her deeply & it hurts immensely to walk away.

as the song goes and i cant agree more - sometimes love just aint enough.

i used to protest at that - how can love not be enough? surely we can get through anything if we really loved each other. surely genuine love will suffice. what do they know? they dont love as we love... there's nothing that love cant conquer (or so the movies & novels wld have us believe :))

ive mellowed since & through my own & others' experience realise how sad but true it is - sometimes love really just aint enough cos compatibility & timing matters too. it matters that beyond feeling deeply for each other, you share the same values, dreams in life. it matters that as a couple you work well tog, can struggle & deal well with trials. it matters that you are able to deal with the other's insecurities, flaws, idiosyncrasies. it matters that you still have the will to give, to love, to put the other person first even when youve been trying tiringly hard for so long. it matters that you are spiritually & emotionally compatible at this stage in your lives.

many emotions shared tonight were strangely familiar... almost 2 years on, im so glad i can laugh & joke in a i-totally-know-this-sucks-but-im-with-you kinda way. why, i cld even tell him that despite the yucky bits of crying in bed & feeling like a beaten-up, numb piece of blob, there IS life after a breakup. singleness isnt all they make it out to be (it can actually be FUN!) & one can find true joy & healing in God and with time :) many of us stand testimony to that rite? ;)

looking back, it was amazing how God protected & kept me. never thought i cld survive 3 mths single, let alone 2 years! He proves over & over again that He is sufficient if only I will trust & rely on Him wholeheartedly.

so even when human love may not be enough to see you through a relationship... His love will always be enough for you. His is an overwhelming & comforting love that never lets us go.

Cling on, my friend, cling on.