lessons on faithfulness part I

we've been learning alot in the past wk or so about marriage - what it means to God, what it shd mean for us. beyond that, issues on faithfulness, divorce were touched on. some lessons learnt, struggles i face: In Malachi, we see how God was upset with the Israelites for i. breaking faith in their marriages – contravene purpose of marriage/God’s character ii. marrying daughters of foreign gods – direct disobedience to God’s word i. Breaking faith in marriage God is a faithful & promise-keeping God. Marriage is essentially a covenant between 2 people before God to be united as one till death parts them. Hence, breaking faith in marriage defeats the point of the institution & runs contrary to who God is - makes us unlike God, a poor reflection of His character. Marriage is also a model/reflection of God’s love relationship with us, His people. Many times in OT, marriage imageries have been used to describe God’s covenantal relationship with the Israelites. In NT too, the Church has been described as the bride & Jesus, the Bridegroom. The intimacy & sacredness of marriage is paralleled to that of our relationship with Jesus. It is no wonder God takes marriage seriously & consequently explains His displeasure at unfaithfulness & divorce. My thoughts/struggles Through recent discussions in & out of bible study, we all realise staying in a marriage is no easy task. Assuming we won’t back out of it at a whim (hubby doesn’t help hang clothes, he snores in sleep & we don’t agree on names to give our first baby) & are in it for the long haul, there are still difficult situations that people find themselves in. What do we do with the unfaithful wife? What shd one do with an abusive husband? What shd I do if my non-Christian spouse persecutes me for my faith (for someone who converted after marriage)? What shd I do with the unrepentant (adulterous, alcoholic, gambling etc) husband? The theoretical answers are there (even tho there arent blanket ones): Persist in keeping your vows regardless of the difficulties you face, cos God never said marriage was all nice, fun & dandy. The goal of life isn’t happiness, but godliness. In tough times, we should model after Christ/God in His faithfulness (keeping to our vows even when our partner seems to have neglected his/hers), His unconditional love (self-sacrificing, other person-centred), His mercy (forgiving even the worst sins against us). Yet, applying these in reality is painful & trying & wld probably take a lifetime to master… easy to say, hard to do! Its, im sure, a form of suffering - suffering that builds perseverance, character & hope ultimately in Him. In light of this, there are moments i wonder if its worthwhile subjecting myself to the host of problems that married pple could face (aka Paul’s words in 2 Corin). Also, after the sermon last sun, I started to think seriously about whether or not im one who would be able to commit & keep my marital vows (if & when I do make them). Am I a person of my word? Do I keep promises to people, to God? If I cant even keep my word in the little things, how can I be sure I can keep these vows for life? Its one thing to imagine marriage [through rose-tainted glasses] with a great godly guy, eager to love & serve him & your kids. Its another to really live out those promises through times of crises & pain. Fact is, very rarely does one enter marriage with thoughts of breaking up or breaking faith. But real stories of broken marriages, esp Christian ones, show there are no guarantees. Its sad & scary to hear of Christian couples whose marriages are in jeopardy cos of sin & unfaithfulness. Seem like anyone cld fall away, even good, seemingly godly couples. Despite these scary thoughts, i take comfort in 2 things: God’s sovereignty over my life & the testimonies of those that have walked before me. Its encouraging & heart-warming to witness the lives of older couples... We meet them now at a point where they have gone through the worst in their struggles. We admire their love, affection, the familiarity, the easiness, the understanding, the giving. Its mature love - love that has gone through the seasons of life & has come through resilient & strong - no longer fickle, not easily provoked but dependable & sweet. Even in Rev John Ting’s sharing, you get a glimpse that his & Frances’ married life wasn’t always smooth sailing. Despite being a pastor & all, he had issues with depression, anger, etc. No one is perfect, and no marriage will be void of problems. But its comforting to know that people DO emerge from trials whole and there is hope of growth & maturity at the end of it (just cos God is faithful even when we feel we cant be). Younger Rev Ting & wife probably doubted things could get better/change to be as beautiful as it is now. True love is nurtured over life, not overnight. Stuff to rem at points you feel like giving up. you must think im so silly to think so far, esp since im not even married! but i write what ive learnt & think (hopefully) as an encouragement to others & as a reminder to myself… i guess its impt stuff to contemplate prior to marriage too. put things into perspective for us singles – married life isn’t to be trifled with tho it has its joys im sure :)